This new blog segment is called Fail Entry. This is where I take games, study them and analyze why the fail. I've decided to take one game that will most likely garner much hate. That being... Super Smash Brothers Brawl.
Super Smash Brothers Brawl is the junior entrant to the Super Smash series. If you don't know what Super Smash Brothers is, you're either and infant or have no life and should be ashamed of yourself. Super Smash Brothers is a collection of Nintendo Characters who duke it out to prove whose series reign supreme.
Three games later, the characters are still duking it out but it's not longer Nintendo Characters. Let's begin the fail...
1) Solid Snake... Don't get me wrong, Solid Snake is a bad ass. But in Brawl? That's like asking GI Joe to make an appearance on Chowder. Not even that, his special is so lame that if you do manage to hit someone with his Grenade Launcher, it would be because they randomly walked into it. But let's be honest.... WHO THE FUCK WALKS INTO A GRENADE DESIGNED TO KILL YOU!? 'Nuff said.
2) Create-a-Stage. Awesome idea at first.... till I saw the penis stage. And then a stage specifically made so that if you take one step, you're gone. Then another stage that if you fall all the way to the bottom, you're trapped with no way to be smashed. I mean, originality would be good. I don't feel like being the pun of every penis joke when I get smashed off the penis. Pun not intended.
3) The Dark Space Blob dudes. Did Nintendo run out of Gloves to use as bosses? Why not use the Sequin Glove from Billie Jean? I'm sure it would have loved whooping Lucas' ass. (For those of you who are MJ fans, Sorry. I am a Fan and mean no disrespect.) But instead we get dudes who are like dark purple and suck. Way to go nintendo for being generic.
4) Lucario. Pikachu? Okay. Jigglypuff? Trying too hard. Mewtwo? Nice. Lucario? Mewtwo clone. That's what he is. It's just Mewtwo in a fighting/steel form. And worse yet, his special blows. He shoots his load down at the stage. And it's horrendously slow to move. Way to go, Gamefreak Inc., you made an interesting pokemon boring again.
5)Smash Ball. Imagine this... a grown 24 year old... screaming "That SHIT is MINE!" No joke. Just imagine it. Now apply it to a video game about characters who should have never been in a fighting game in the first place. This is what the smash ball does to people. As soon as it pops, expect everyone and Grandma from down the block to chase after and scream like kids when they can't get it. It's midly entertaining.
6) Sonic. I will say this. Sega... you fucked up.
With that, I didn't really fail the game but if you play it and wish to play Melee instead, then you failed it yourself.
Then again, the Penis stage? Need I say more?
I lol'ed.
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